New thing

[sroni]

I’m at home right now, undergoing tests with the doctor to find out what it is I have. I’m not anemic (which the first doc I went to said I was), and it’s not mono, but right now, those are the only things I know.

I don’t know when I’ll be going back to CP. I don’t know what’s going to be happening.

But right now, I know I need to be home. I’m not physically able to be on the road right now. I’ve lost twenty pounds in three weeks. I’m cold all the time. I’m not sleeping well, and I’m exhausted all the time. I can’t eat; when I do eat, I can’t keep food down. I get down stairs by leaning against the wall, letting gravity get me down, and the wall holds me up. I get up stairs by leaning against the wall, taking each step at a time, and pure determination is the only thing that keeps me going.

The doctor put me on medicine that helps me keep food down (yay) but it also makes me sleep more. So I take the medicine, and conk out for the next four hours.

I’m sorry to the people I’ve let down. I’m sorry that I’m not on the road right now. I’m sorry that I gave no warning I was leaving until I can come back. I’m sorry.

But I need to be home, while I get better.

Comments

[skarman.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about you being sick, hon. Take it easy and enjoy being home. Don't feel guilty about letting people down, you didn't.

Letting them down would be continuing even though you're sick, to do your job and making yourself feel worse. It would impact your work and by extension, others and their work.

Getting better is the main point now. Make sure you are at 100 percent before going out again, alright?

[sroni.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

Although, it looks like I'll be heading out again soon. They have a need for me in a specific spot. It just depends on how quickly I get better... and what exactly I have.

[naol.livejournal.com]

Don't feel guilty! *uses jedi mind powers* Stop feeling guilty! *uses powers again*

Seriously, you have a valid reason and you need to be at home right now. Just focus on getting better and don't worry about anything else, okay? *hugs*

[sroni.livejournal.com]

*accepts hug* Thanks.

I know I shouldn't feel guilty.

Honestly, I feel guilty for not communicating, not for leaving.

I mean, I literally called them on Friday morning and said, "I'm really sorry I haven't told anyone I was sick, but in the last three weeks, I've lost twenty pounds. I need to go home, and my dad is picking me up in about four hours."

[minervajoy.livejournal.com]

Oh! That is so terrible! Much love and prayer is headed your way!

Love,

Stephanie