Heartfelt Letter
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sroniThere's something I want to talk to you about. The words are so many, and I don't know when I'm going to be able to get your attention.
For one thing, you can't let go of the past. Yes, it happened. Alot of stuff did. But you don't see me dwelling on how you've hurt me, do you? You don't see me wallowing in the past, anguishing over how you've gone behind my back. How you've hurt my heart by choosing others over me. How you've only wanted me as a last resort. How you only acknowledged my love for you when you've tried all other kinds of love, and finally realized that I'm not going anywhere.
I cried behind the door you closed in my face. I cried knowing you were hurting yourself. I cried as I felt your heart cheating on me, I felt your heart drift away from me. I felt you laughing, and holding, and choosing someone else. Don't you remember how I cried with you, as you confessed what you had done? You thought I would change my mind about you. You thought that would be the easy out. You thought wrong. Hearing that you still loved me was enough. I would wait as long as it took. I know that you are still waiting for your heart to be satisfied. You still haven't trusted me.
You thought you weren't worthy of me. Don't you think I should have say in that matter? You thought that one more wrong action could be the feather that broke my back or something. You thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. Don't underestimate me, seriously.
You seem to think that I don't require anything. You seem to think that I can wait for the movie to be over, for the money to be spent, for the work to be done. You seem to think that some big show, some over-the-top spoiling, some occasional contact is enough. You seem to think that saying you love me is enough to say that we are really in a relationship. I know you still want me. But you can't seem to fit me into your tight scheduale.
No matter what, I'm not going to stop loving you. I'm waiting for you to feel the same way I do. I'm waiting for you to really fall in love with me. I know if you really were in love with me, you'd try. You would fight for me. You would make time.
Being in love is an easily accessed mushy feeling. Saying you love is an even easier cliche'. Staying in love takes commitment. How often have you wondered about the reality of love, of people saying they loved you who then suddenly changed their minds, let it go, forgot about the promise made by the words? Do you think that real love does that? Or do you think that love is something people let die by ignoring it? Just like a fire dies without wood continually placed upon it.
I can't make you love me. I can't make you place any wood. I can't make you any more aware of how much I love you. How I've never stopped loving you. I've written you so many letters. I've waited so long. I told you how much I cherished you.
I'm scared that you will let the fire for me die completely. I know you haven't forgotten me. I know you can't get me out of your head, because I can't get you out of mine. My heart is aching for you.
I'm lonely, not having you continually in my life. It's been so long since you've told me you loved me.
I know that you don't know me. I feel lost, jostled about, a burden, an avoided entity. My heart is hurting with the loss of you.
If only we could be connected by the deep bonds that you sing about, regularly. If only you could see all that you mean to me. If only you knew how much I love you, how much I'm prepared to do for you. Even if you never even looked at me until the moment of your last breath, I would be ready to love you in that moment. There's no timetable. There's nothing you could do to change my mind.
I love you, forever.
Jesus
I can't take credit for this. My friend K.E. wrote this, and she's given me permission to post this here. If anyone else wants to spread it, check with me, and I'll check with her, but right now, she'd love for as many people as possible to read this.
For one thing, you can't let go of the past. Yes, it happened. Alot of stuff did. But you don't see me dwelling on how you've hurt me, do you? You don't see me wallowing in the past, anguishing over how you've gone behind my back. How you've hurt my heart by choosing others over me. How you've only wanted me as a last resort. How you only acknowledged my love for you when you've tried all other kinds of love, and finally realized that I'm not going anywhere.
I cried behind the door you closed in my face. I cried knowing you were hurting yourself. I cried as I felt your heart cheating on me, I felt your heart drift away from me. I felt you laughing, and holding, and choosing someone else. Don't you remember how I cried with you, as you confessed what you had done? You thought I would change my mind about you. You thought that would be the easy out. You thought wrong. Hearing that you still loved me was enough. I would wait as long as it took. I know that you are still waiting for your heart to be satisfied. You still haven't trusted me.
You thought you weren't worthy of me. Don't you think I should have say in that matter? You thought that one more wrong action could be the feather that broke my back or something. You thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. Don't underestimate me, seriously.
You seem to think that I don't require anything. You seem to think that I can wait for the movie to be over, for the money to be spent, for the work to be done. You seem to think that some big show, some over-the-top spoiling, some occasional contact is enough. You seem to think that saying you love me is enough to say that we are really in a relationship. I know you still want me. But you can't seem to fit me into your tight scheduale.
No matter what, I'm not going to stop loving you. I'm waiting for you to feel the same way I do. I'm waiting for you to really fall in love with me. I know if you really were in love with me, you'd try. You would fight for me. You would make time.
Being in love is an easily accessed mushy feeling. Saying you love is an even easier cliche'. Staying in love takes commitment. How often have you wondered about the reality of love, of people saying they loved you who then suddenly changed their minds, let it go, forgot about the promise made by the words? Do you think that real love does that? Or do you think that love is something people let die by ignoring it? Just like a fire dies without wood continually placed upon it.
I can't make you love me. I can't make you place any wood. I can't make you any more aware of how much I love you. How I've never stopped loving you. I've written you so many letters. I've waited so long. I told you how much I cherished you.
I'm scared that you will let the fire for me die completely. I know you haven't forgotten me. I know you can't get me out of your head, because I can't get you out of mine. My heart is aching for you.
I'm lonely, not having you continually in my life. It's been so long since you've told me you loved me.
I know that you don't know me. I feel lost, jostled about, a burden, an avoided entity. My heart is hurting with the loss of you.
If only we could be connected by the deep bonds that you sing about, regularly. If only you could see all that you mean to me. If only you knew how much I love you, how much I'm prepared to do for you. Even if you never even looked at me until the moment of your last breath, I would be ready to love you in that moment. There's no timetable. There's nothing you could do to change my mind.
I love you, forever.
Jesus
I can't take credit for this. My friend K.E. wrote this, and she's given me permission to post this here. If anyone else wants to spread it, check with me, and I'll check with her, but right now, she'd love for as many people as possible to read this.
