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sroniHere’s the yin and the yang of my personality. Well, at least as I understand it to be at this particular moment in time.
I love to meet new people. I love to get to know them, and become friends with them. // I hate groups of people. If I could go the rest of my life without having to deal with groups of people, I’d be happy. And part of me, really doesn’t like dealing with new people. There are times that I just want to curl up under a desk to get away from people.
I’m a loud person, who talks a lot. // I’m quiet, and keep to myself. Both are true in this instance. Sometimes, I’m loud, and lots of luck trying to get me to shut up. Other times, I’m quiet, and you might be able to coax words out of me.
I have a fear of being redundant. // I’m terrified of not being understood.
All of these are true for me. It depends on the time, and my mood, and all kinds of variables. But the main thing is, if you catch me when I’m “not acting like myself” and you’re “tired of me putting on a face” (complaints I’ve gotten more than once, for years), take into consideration that the me you might have seen more of? might in fact be the face.
That was going to be my ending line, but I still have more to say. Why can’t the contradictions be real? I seek out attention, and at the same time, shun it. I want to be noticed, and I also want to make sure that I don’t draw attention to myself. These contradictions add to my humanity, not take away from it. So if you’ve noticed me usually being loud and boisterous, and then you see me quiet and sitting in a corner, it’s not that I’ve been putting on a face, or am putting on one now; it’s not that I’m in a depressed mood. It’s that, yesterday, I was loud and boisterous. Today, I’m not. That’s as far as it goes. It’s no reflection on you. It’s not a true reflection of anything that’s happened. It’s the mood I happen to be in today.
So, before you get mad at me for putting on a mask? think about which one’s really a mask. And for those of you who wear masks? you need to consider that if you wear a mask convincingly for long enough, you tend to forget what you look like. And so do other people.
I love to meet new people. I love to get to know them, and become friends with them. // I hate groups of people. If I could go the rest of my life without having to deal with groups of people, I’d be happy. And part of me, really doesn’t like dealing with new people. There are times that I just want to curl up under a desk to get away from people.
I’m a loud person, who talks a lot. // I’m quiet, and keep to myself. Both are true in this instance. Sometimes, I’m loud, and lots of luck trying to get me to shut up. Other times, I’m quiet, and you might be able to coax words out of me.
I have a fear of being redundant. // I’m terrified of not being understood.
All of these are true for me. It depends on the time, and my mood, and all kinds of variables. But the main thing is, if you catch me when I’m “not acting like myself” and you’re “tired of me putting on a face” (complaints I’ve gotten more than once, for years), take into consideration that the me you might have seen more of? might in fact be the face.
That was going to be my ending line, but I still have more to say. Why can’t the contradictions be real? I seek out attention, and at the same time, shun it. I want to be noticed, and I also want to make sure that I don’t draw attention to myself. These contradictions add to my humanity, not take away from it. So if you’ve noticed me usually being loud and boisterous, and then you see me quiet and sitting in a corner, it’s not that I’ve been putting on a face, or am putting on one now; it’s not that I’m in a depressed mood. It’s that, yesterday, I was loud and boisterous. Today, I’m not. That’s as far as it goes. It’s no reflection on you. It’s not a true reflection of anything that’s happened. It’s the mood I happen to be in today.
So, before you get mad at me for putting on a mask? think about which one’s really a mask. And for those of you who wear masks? you need to consider that if you wear a mask convincingly for long enough, you tend to forget what you look like. And so do other people.
