New thing

I’m at home right now, undergoing tests with the doctor to find out what it is I have. I’m not anemic (which the first doc I went to said I was), and it’s not mono, but right now, those are the only things I know.

I don’t know when I’ll be going back to CP. I don’t know what’s going to be happening.

But right now, I know I need to be home. I’m not physically able to be on the road right now. I’ve lost twenty pounds in three weeks. I’m cold all the time. I’m not sleeping well, and I’m exhausted all the time. I can’t eat; when I do eat, I can’t keep food down. I get down stairs by leaning against the wall, letting gravity get me down, and the wall holds me up. I get up stairs by leaning against the wall, taking each step at a time, and pure determination is the only thing that keeps me going.

The doctor put me on medicine that helps me keep food down (yay) but it also makes me sleep more. So I take the medicine, and conk out for the next four hours.

I’m sorry to the people I’ve let down. I’m sorry that I’m not on the road right now. I’m sorry that I gave no warning I was leaving until I can come back. I’m sorry.

But I need to be home, while I get better.