Nervous

I'm nervous. Why? Because I've sent my story (Yeah. Story. More like "Ninety freaking thousand word monster" to a few people, and now I'm awaiting feedback. It's not completely finished; I still have a few scenes to fill in, and it still needs editing.

I'll write more later. When I can.

Life and like that

Okay, I've been meaning to get on here. Sorry that I've lost touch with so many of you.

I'm confused about what to do. Last time I talked to my mom, she was trying to make me promise to finish my commitment to CP, and then come home, and after that, recommit if I still feel called. I can't do that. If I feel like God is asking me to stick around in CP, I have to do that. But the thing is, I know that when I leave CP, whenever that may be, He wants me to go back to China, so I still wouldn't be home. I'd be on another continent.

Evan and I have stopped talking. I finally got mad enough at him to yell (it really doesn't happen all that often) and told him that he promised me that he wouldn't let anything get in the way of our friendship, and he told me to trust him on that. So I went against my gut feelings and I trusted him, and then he started treating me like this, so looks like I was right to worry. I finally got him to admit what's wrong: he's getting over me. Word for word, he needs time to get over me. Okay, fine. I made him promise that when he's done, he'll call me. He promised, and I told him that I'd hear from him when he called me, and hung up. The kicker? Right before I hung up, he said, "I'm sorry about this. I love you." Yeah. DON'T TELL ME THAT RIGHT NOW. If you need to get over me, then I need to get over you. Fair's fair. If you want me to give you time, and not to say anything that makes you go "Man." then you do the same for me.

I love my unit. They're pretty rocking. My UL has already written a letter to the director of CP saying he'd love to tour with me again, and I'm glad, because I feel the same way. We work really well together and get along great.

Pray for the newest member of the unit. She and I generally get along great, but every once in a while, we bite each other's heads off.

grah?

I'm currently in fragile ego, needing feedback mode, after sending my story/novel to people. I want to know how to fix it, is it fixable, and above all, is it worth fixing. And so far, out of the people I've sent it to, I've gotten no response. At all. On any of the fourteen parts. I WANNA KNOW!

Yeah, I'm freaking out. But I really do need to know these things. I know how I feel about the thing, but I need outside input. Desperately. I need to know.