sroni

All That Glitters (the Midas Touch Remix) – PART TWO

(Part 1 here)

Severus Snape had met Alice Friedrichs on the first day of Potions in their First Year. For whatever unknown reason, Professor Dumbledore saw fit to place the Gryffindors and Slytherins in Potions together. Yes, that was a fantastic idea. Let’s choose the two Houses that fight the most and place them in the deadliest class in the curriculum, surrounded by poisonous gases and ingredients that could cause explosions. Best idea EVER.

Professor Slughorn had paired Gryffindors with Slytherins for their partners for the rest of term, and Severus had been silently begging for “not Black” and “please Lily”. Fortunately, he hadn’t gotten Black, and unfortunately, he hadn’t been paired with Lily, either. Instead, he’d been paired with a pleasant round-faced girl he never saw without a smile. She was slightly clumsy, causing Severus to bark at her to be careful a few times, but overall, she wasn’t half bad at Potions, either. The two of them scraped together the top score in the class followed closely — very closely — by Lily and Avery, who she’d been paired with. Avery was no idiot, but he was hardly a genius, so Severus knew exactly who was responsible for Avery’s standing in the class.

He found himself actually enjoying Alice’s company as time went on. When the two of them weren’t putting all their focus on the potion they were working on, she proved herself to be capable of some rather biting coments, all the more unexpected because of her cheerful personality. She really was the type of person that wanted to help people simply because she could and they needed the help, but whoever thought that this personality defect made her an easy mark for bullying was sadly mistaken. She could snark with the best of them, had mastered the Petrificus Totalus in their first week of school, and Professor Flitwick claimed her Shield Charm was one of the strongest he had seen in his years of teaching.

Severus had every intention of getting the best marks he could, and approached Alice about the possibility of an inter-House study group. The Ravenclaws took the best notes in History of Magic, the Hufflepuffs were best with Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology notes, and nobody took better Charms and Transfiguration notes than Lily did. Severus himself had the monopoly on Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts notes, though Alice came in a close second in those subjects and also seemed to be the only person in Gryffindor that could stay awake during Professor Binn’s lectures. So if he could get Alice and Lily on board, they might be able to convince some of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs to put up with the greasy Slytherin for study purposes. This way, they’d already have a system in place when O.W.L.s and then N.E.W.T.s came up, which could only be beneficial. And surely the Ravenclaws would see that, and if the Ravenclaws agreed, and some of the Gryffindors were okay with it, then the Hufflepuffs wouldn’t be far behind. Severus knew better than to consider approaching some of the other Slytherins about the idea.

Unfortunately, though Lily and Alice were agreeable, they couldn’t convince anyone to meet with Severus. So instead, they worked out another system. Lily and Alice participated in the inter-House study group, and then immediately following that one, the three of them would study together.

Severus knew that he wasn’t the easiest person to get along with. He was prickly and snappish and had a tendency to insult people that he wanted to be friends with. So the fact that Lily and Alice were willing to go to that much trouble for him meant a lot to him, even if he had a hard time saying so.

And by “hard to say”, he meant “impossible to say but they knew anyway because they knew him”.

Severus had his personality flaws. Lily and Alice knew those flaws. And yet, these two amazing girls were willing to be friends with him, and even loved him, each for their own reasons. Lily loved him because he was a stable feature in a changing life: changes she liked, but that were still changes. He was dependable as a person and a friend, and definitely could be depended on to have an acerbic comment at the ready at any given time and for any situation. Alice loved him because he didn’t try to tell her how she should be and just accepted her as she was; because he was always willing to explain Potions to her (even if his explanations sounded a lot like sneers and insults), and most of all, because she considered him her best friend. She could talk to him about anything, and he might insult her with a straight face and a deadpan voice, but he woudln’t tell her that she was stupid (or at least wouldn’t mean it if he did), and she knew that he wouldn’t repeat anything she said to anyone else.

Severus, for his part, loved them both fiercely. If he were a knight of old, Lily would have been his shield, protecting him, and Alice would have been the sword in his hand. He recognized Lily’s faults, and knew that she didn’t put his love as high as he put hers. But even knowing and recognizing those faults, he still loved her with an unshakeable love. Alice understood him. Lily tried to change him into someone better, and he wanted to be that person for her, but Alice understood him and accepted him the way he was — which still only served to make him strive to be worthy of their love. It did alleviate some of the pressure, though. If he messed up, he knew that it would be okay, because Alice would still be his friend and still stand beside him. Oh, she told him when he was wrong, and she wouldn’t hold her tongue against him simply because it was him, but she did it nicely.

The three of them were friends. No one else could understand how Snivellus, the greasy-haired kid with the big nose and crooked teeth, who always looked like he should spend more time in the sun, had managed to befriend Lily Evans, the girl that all the boys would give their right arm for a date with, and Alice Friedrichs, the girl that most of the guys recognized as the girl they should shoot for.

Severus didn’t feel the need to inform anyone that it was simply good fortune.

His fellow Slytherins didn’t like the idea of him spending so much time with two Gryffindor girls, but one didn’t sleep in the Slytherin dungeons without a shield charm in place over oneself and his belongings, in general, and several well-placed Stinging Hexes served to convince the other boys to leave him alone.

Severus would never go running to a member of staff to take care of his battles, because he had too much pride. So before even coming to the school, he’d read up on the different shielding spells he could use, and tried out different versions at the school to find out which one worked better for him and his needs. He hadn’t been anticipating going into Slytherin, but he had anticipated being picked on, because after all, he’d been dealing with that his whole life from his father. He had no reason to suspect that other children would be any nicer, and had no illusions that they would be.

***

Hermione spotted Professor Snape in the assembled Death Eaters, but knew that he had to keep his cover, and that meant that while he wouldn’t attack them if he could help it, they couldn’t expect help from him, either. And that was the way it should be, even if Harry might hold it against their Potions professor. And if he did, Hermione would flick his ear and remind him of the role Professor Snape played.

Without speaking about it, or even a non-verbal cue that Hermione could say for absolute certain happened in which to convey their plans, Harry and Hermione moved back to back, Hermione’s stronger shield covering both of them. She had always learned spells faster, but once he got them, his offensive spells were far stronger than hers. Her defensive spells, though, remained noticeably stronger than his, with the single exception of the Patronus Charm, and really, that one became an offensive spell when Harry used it, if one really thought about it.

Her shield covered him, and they immediately began firing off a hail of spells, trusting the other to cover their backs without even thinking about it. After the first salvo was over, she remembered that she had a way out that would get around the wards. Hermione forced her disciplined mind to split focus; part went into addressing combat threats and the rest trying to get them back to Hogwarts.

Unfortunately, that was when a curse leaked through her shield. Harry knew instinctively that things had changed, and wheeled around just in time to see Hermione’s skin, clothes, and hair become metallic. His magic lashed out at those around him, including the prone Voldemort. A bright light flashed, and Harry and the golden Hermione were back at Hogwarts, this time due to Harry’s intense desire to get them out of the firing line.

***

Hermione had to fight her exasperation. Harry might take longer to grasp a spell than she did, but if it was an offensive spell, once he got it, no one’s was stronger. Ron usually learned the spell a little faster than Harry, but his spells were usually not quite as strong as Harry’s or Hermione’s, though the teachers hadn’t found fault with his spells yet, once he actually got it.

Harry really was a strong wizard, especially when it came to the offensive.

But Lord, it could take him a long time to grasp it. Every time he tried to learn a spell, it was as though he’d never waved a wand before. He had the incantation right; ever since the troll incident back in their first year, they’d all made sure to learn the correct pronciations and which syllable to emphasize. It was the wand movements that gave him trouble. He gave hard jerks when a soft swish was needed, soft swishes when a firm but languid weave was called for. And that was nothing compared to Ron. Between the two of them, she sometimes wondered if she was the only reason they passed their classes, though she tried hard to not voice that wonderment aloud.

She gave up trying to explain it to Harry. He wasn’t getting it visually. He wasn’t getting it no matter how many times she explained it.

So Hermione stood behind him, and directed him in the proper movements, her hand guiding his on his wand.

That set the guidelines for teaching Harry a spell. He wasn’t a visual learner. He could get more out of books than Ron could, but the plain fact of the matter was that Harry was not a visual learner. Ron was a visual learner; once he saw how someone did something, he had an instinctual grasp on how to do it himself.

Neither was Harry an audio learner. He could listen to her talk, and he could understand the individual words without any problems, but when it came time to implement the instructions, they just didn’t make sense to him. Hermione was an audio learner who’d taught herself to learn from books. She learned a lot from lectures. Harry did not.

Harry was, however, a kinetic learner. Once he did it, he wouldn’t forget how to do it. He learned by feel.

So Hermione had to learn to teach him to learn by feel, because her only experience with being taught had been from books or lectures, not from someone directing her hand on how to do things.

It was a learning experience for them both, really.

***

Severus and the two people that he could actually claim as friends had the monopoly on the top grades in their year. But they had it due to two things: natural ability and hard work. They’d established in their first year which of them were best in which areas, but every once in a while, one or the other of them would usurp their position as best for a day, or — in one lucky case that Severus still lorded over Lily every once in a while — for an entire month. She was not very happy with him when he managed to best her for that month in Charms, and she started working even harder.

As a result of Lily working harder, and refusing to share that work with him and Alice, he and Alice found themselves working on Charms as a team of two.

Theirs was an interesting trio. He and Lily both learned more from books. Alice had to get up and do in order to learn it. He and Lily were content to study, while Alice was the one that supplied energy to their group. Yet, they didn’t begrudge Alice for it. They’d learned early on that a good way to cement knowledge was for him or Lily to read something aloud to Alice while she moved, doing whatever she needed to do to get it into her body, and thus into her mind. Doing so allowed Alice to absorb the knowledge that she’d have an otherwise hard time getting, and it helped Severus, at least, remember things easier than if he just read it himself.

When Lily took to studying Charms on her own, Alice somehow managed to turn their study sessions into something very like dueling practice. Particularly if they were working on their Charms. Her reasoning was that it gave them a chance to make sure their Shield Charms were up to par. Not that Alice had to worry about those, because no one had been able to best her Shield Charm since her first week of their First Year. Any time she cast that spell in Professor Flitwick’s presence, she earned Gryffindor an extra ten points.

Whatever illogical reasoning she had, it seemed to work, because he kept his top spot in Charms, with Alice right on his heels. Lily’s irritation at them was long and chilly before she forgave them.

But oh, it was worth it.

***

Harry and the statue Hermione reappeared on the Quidditch field. He didn’t notice the silence of the onlookers. Unsurprisingly, the first people to reach the two of them were Ron, Ginny, Luna, and Neville, followed quickly by Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonnagal. Harry found himself quickly bustled off, with the frozen Hermione, to the infirmary.

Madame Pompfrey performed her examinations, while Harry fidgeted impatiently. He wanted to be fixing Hermione, not sitting there being fussed over and taken care of.

While Madame Pomfrey worked her magic, Harry tried to find out all he could about Hermione and her predicament from Dumbledore. “Sir? What spell hit her, and why didn’t her shield deflect it? And why did they cast that one instead of Avada Kadavra?”

***

Luna knew that Professor Snape came across as far more scary than he actually was. But she also knew that the fear from the students was something he cultivated and in some ways, depended on, so she had no intention of breaking that secret anytime soon. She was pretty sure that his desire to be feared came from years of being mocked, but she couldn’t be certain of that. At any rate, she would certainly never bring it up to him, nor give voice to that thought to anyone who might think it too loudly near him.

***

Severus and his two friends took to studying under a tree beside the lake during the warmer months, and found an empty classroom they could use during the colder ones. Being outside when it was warm was definitely the girls’ idea. If left to his own devices, Severus would opt to stay inside and not deal with the bugs, sun, and other students, and that would be his preference every time. But it was a small sacrifice on his part, and it made Lily and Alice far happier than he could understand. A minor Shield Charm kept the bugs away and protected his skin from the sun, and, well, nothing was going to protect him from the other students, though Lily’s and Alice’s presence helped that immensely, loath as he was to admit it.

Likewise, staying inside during the winter was more for Severus’ sake than the girls’, because they’d all discovered that Warming Charms made staying outside possible, even if it wasn’t wholly comfortable. The three of them fell into this pattern during their school career, from First Year on, until one day in Fifth Year, it shattered completely, and Severus could never figure out how to fix it. That day became known as The Day Everything Broke to the three of them, and was a day that Severus would remember and regret every day for the rest of his life.

After taking one of his O.W.L. exams, Severus was outside, studying the paper with the exam questions on it. It wouldn’t do any good, studying-wise, since the exam had just finished, but his was an obsessive personality, and besides, he knew that Lily would want to go over the questions as well, to find out if they’d missed anything. He sat in the shadows of some of the bushes; more often than not, they studied in the shade of the beech tree beside the lake, but Black and his band had camped themselves underneath it, and Severus had long before developed the ability to pay attention to them without their noticing that he was doing so. After a bit, he looked up and spotted Lily beside the lake. He stood and rummaged through his organized bag to find the correct spot for the exam paper to go, and then set off towards Lily.

Potter’s voice stopped him. “All right, Snivellus?”

Severus reacted instaneously, having been expecting this. He dropped his bag and in the same moment, pulled his wand out of his robes. Stupid, he should have had his wand at the ready, he knew that he should have had it ready, stupid, but he managed to get his wand halfway raised when Potter shouted “Expelliarmus!”

Severus’ wand flew into the air, and then fell to the grass with a cushioned thud, elliciting a rough bark of laughter from Black.

Potter’s shouted Impedimenta caught Severus in the middle of a dive for his fallen wand, knocking Severus from his feet, and effectively binding him in place, even if the bonds were invisible. People were watching, Severus knew that they were watching. The only thing that had kept him safe from the worst of the bullying was Alice and Lily’s friendship. No one was willing to take on the three of them, and normally Black and his cronies were much more subtle when they picked on him. Severus struggled harder, wanting to get away from the eyes that were on him; he’d worked hard to be invisible the past five years, and now it was all coming down around his ears.

“How’d the exam go, Snivelly?” Potter’s voice was cool and mocking, his eyes seeking out a redhead with green eyes.

Black cut in spitefully. “I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment. There’ll be grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.”

Severus’ face burned as he heard the laughter around him, and he struggled harder, though the jinx continued to hold him in place. His words came out between panting breaths. “You wait. You wait —”

Black cut him off with no emotion, not even glee. “Wait for what? What are you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?”

Severus’ frustration erupted at once, and he spewed swears and curses and jinxes, but nothing happened and he remained in the grass. He desperately wished that Alice and Lily would notice and save him; he just as desperately wished that they would remain ignorant of this.

Potter spoke coldly. “Wash your mouth. Scourgify!”

Severus couldn’t breathe, the soap bubbles streaming from his lips were also going down his throat, choking him, he couldn’t breathe —

“Leave him alone!” To his intense relief and just as intense shame, the voice belonged to Lily.

Potter shifted from cold to pleasant, from arrogant bully to approachable friend in the blink of an eye. “All right, Evans?”

Lily repeated herself strongly. “Leave him alone. What’s he done to you?”

“We-ell,” Potter drawled the word out, “it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean …”

More laughter, though Severus did notice that Lupin wasn’t one of them.

Lily crossed her arms and stared Potter down. Severus had never loved her more than in that moment. “You think you’re funny. But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter.” He’d heard her speak that coldly only once before, and that time, it had been directed at Avery after he’d messed up a potion, costing her the top grade of the day. “Leave him alone.”

Potter interjected quickly, as though he’d been waiting for this opportunity. “I will if you go out with me, Evans.” He spoke enticingly, neither of them seeming to notice that Severus was struggling harder now. “Go on. Go out with me, and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.”

Finally, Severus could move, and he began to move towards his wand with aching slowness, trying to not draw attention to himself.

Lily raked cold eyes over Potter. “I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.” This roused another bout of laughter from the onlookers.

“Bad luck, Prongs.” Black’s voice was amused and he was turning back to Severus. No! It was too early! Severus needed a few more seconds! “Oi!”

Severus managed to get the spell off in time, and Potter’s robes were spattered with drops of blood from his face. Another flash of light, and Severus was upside down, his wand back on the ground, and his face burning with embarrassment again as people around them laughed and cheered — though once again, Severus noticed that Lupin wasn’t among them.

Betrayal of betrayal, Lily almost smiled, but then she resumed her furious countenance. Severus had never hated her more than in that moment. “Let him down!”

Potter gave a little half bow. “Certainly.” A flick of his wand had Severus crashing to the ground hard.

Severus jumped to his feet, wanting to just get away, not wanting to deal with the laughter and the mocking anymore, needing a private place to deal with Lily’s betrayal, when Black knocked him over with a lazy “Locomotor Mortis!”

Lily had her own wand out now, pointed at Potter. “LEAVE HIM ALONE!”

Potter eyed her warily. “Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you.”

Lily’s face was turning as red as her hair from anger. “Take the curse off him, then!”

Potter sighed heavily, before muttering the counter curse underneath his breath. “There you go. You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus —”

Pain and embarrassment and betrayal and frustration exploded all at once. “I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!” The moment it was out, he wanted to take it back. There was nothing in the world that he wanted more than to take it back.That was the moment everything broke, and Lily was unwilling to try to fix things after that.

Lily’s eyes showed hurt and betrayal, before she shut it down. “Fine.” Her voice was cold again, and this time, it was directed at him. “I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.” Severus hadn’t thought that it was possible for her to hurt him more than she had by almost laughing at him. Now he knew that she could, and the fact that she used the insulting moniker for him cut him to the bone.

Potter saw it as his moment to shine in her eyes. “Apologize to Evans!”

Lily’s ire focused back on Potter. “I don’t want you to make him apologize! You’re just as bad as he is.”

Severus was trying to melt into the background, while Lily and Potter had their drama. “What?” Potter sounded genuinely shocked at Lily’s statement. “I’d never call you a — you-know-what!”

Lily ticked things off on her fingers. “Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I’m surprised that your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me sick.” And with that, she turned and walked away.

She walked away, leaving Severus to the mercies of the Gryffindors that delighted in tormenting him.

Potter shouted after her retreating form. “Evans! Hey, Evans!”

But she didn’t look back.

Potter attempted to sound like he didn’t care. “What is it with her?”

Black spoke jovially. “Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate.”

“Right.” Potter was looking more and more furious by the second. “Right.” He repeated himself, and then Severus found himself the focus of Potter’s fury, hanging upside down in the air again. “Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?”

Once again, to his immense embarrassment, Severus found himself rescued by a girl, this one dark-haired and round-faced. Alice’s method worked a lot faster; she simply jinxed both Black and Potter, and then levitated Severus down quickly, while giving Black and his followers a severe tongue lashing, as well as all the people who’d been watching and laughing.

Severus turned away, trying to not allow the hurt in Lily’s eyes to affect him. He needed to get away, needed to not be around other students, needed to be alone, needed to lick his wounds in private.

Alice followed him as he pushed his way back into the castle. “You know, Sev, a thank-you would be nice. Unless you wanted to go showing everyone your private bits, which, hey, if it floats your boat. But somehow, I think that goes against your plans for the day.”

Severus growled at her, and Alice just waved it off, still speaking cheerfully. “Some might think you had self-destructive tendencies, the way you snarl at anyone that tries to help you.”

Severus sneered at her. “And some might think that you’re growing up to take over the gossip columns at the Daily Prophet, the way you butt into everyone’s business unasked.” He stalked off, unwilling to recognize the hurt in her eyes, either.

After he’d calmed down, he tried to seek them out. They hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t their fault that he was the favorite target of Black and Potter and their goons.

But the damage had been done. He tried to apologize to Lily, and she simply refused to talk to him. She’d turn her head to not look at him, until he’d given up for fear she’d actually injure herself. Alice had unleashed the sharp side of her tongue on him before running off. After a few months, she actually started speaking to him again, but it was too late; Severus had joined the Death Eaters during the months of solitude, because of the overwhelming need to belong somewhere, to be wanted. Their friendship was stilted once it renewed, because Severus was already disillusioned about the Death Eaters, and he didn’t want to admit to one of his best friends that he’d been that stupid. On her part, she was still cautious with him, because the emotional wounds she’d sustained from him had healed enough that they weren’t still bleeding, but that didn’t mean she wanted them ripped open again.

Alice also knew Severus well enough to know that he was hiding something, and she didn’t know what. Whatever it was, he didn’t want her to know about it, and he went to great pains to keep it from her. Her Potions parter used to roll his sleeves up as the room heated from the cauldron fires during any given lesson. That and their easy cameraderie was a thing of the past. Now they stood in front of their cauldron in stony silence, adding ingredients in the correct timing, with Severus writing down notes in his textbook, and refusing to let her see what he wrote. Though that part, at least, wasn’t new. He’d been doing that since the first day of school five years previous. In the months of separation from her best friends, since Lily wasn’t talking to Alice, unable to forget that Alice had followed Severus instead of the redhead on The Day Everything Broke, Alice found herself getting to know Frank Longbottom better. The two had always been friendly, but they’d never been more than that. But Frank made a good study partner, even if he wasn’t brilliant. And he was clumsy and incapable of not stepping on her foot every time they walked somewhere together, but she solved that problem by casting a Cushioning Charm on her feet, and it really was an endearing kind of clumsiness. He was just so earnest that she found herself not wanting to hurt his feelings. And then later, she found herself protecting him from anyone, and after a time, she found herself not wanting to be hurt by him.

When the chilly bout of silence between Severus and Alice ended, things couldn’t go back to normal. Normal had been broken irrevocably. But they could create a new normal. Their study group resumed, this time with Frank instead of Lily. Which meant that their grades in Charms and Transfiguration took a slight dip, but they were intelligent enough to muddle through without their class standings being affected by the loss of Lily to their group.

Severus slowly began to realize that he’d been usurped in Alice’s affections, through no one’s fault but his own. Time and time again, Alice’s gaze would slip past his face to Frank’s, the intensity of concentration covering her face melting into a softened smile of love and affection. The worst part was, Severus couldn’t hate Frank the way he did Potter, because Frank had never been mean to him the way Potter was, and Frank was so bloody nice, wanted to befriend Severus so badly that Severus couldn’t make himself be mean to Longbottom. It would be like kicking a puppy.

A puppy that Alice would hex him into last week over, if she ever thought that Severus might hurt him.

By the time they graduated Hogwarts, word had gotten around that Lily and Potter were engaged, and Severus himself had been part of Frank’s proposal to Alice. Which was another reason that Severus couldn’t hate Frank; Frank had asked him permission to marry Alice, since her parents were no longer alive and Alice lived with her grandmother.

Quite a few students were married within a few months of leaving Hogwarts, Severus not being one of them, of course, and it was believed to be due to the war that was going on.

In one moment, in his Fifth Year, he had lost both of the only people other than his mother that he actually loved in the world. Luckily, he got one of them back. The other remained forever lost, and there was nothing he could do to fix that.

***

After Harry’s question, Dumbledore looked older than he normally appeared. “Harry, you know that the Shield Charm is a valuable thing to know, but there are some spells that the shield is simply not equipped to absorb or deflect. This is one of them. It’s called the Midas Curse. If I were to hazard a guess at the whys of choosing this particular spell, it was done specifically to demotivate you and cause you to blame yourself for Miss Granger’s state as a golden statue. You see, Harry, there is a cure. A rather simple one at that, but not necessarily one that is easy to implement. Miss Granger will stay in this state until she is kissed by someone she loves, who loves her back.” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled in spite of the gravity of the situation. “The Muggles had to get their fairytales from somewhere, Harry. I think you would be surprised at how many things they got right, mixed in with all the things they got woefully wrong.”

***

The boys had learned quickly that when Hermione was reading, they needed to not disturb her. Particularly if she were reading one of her books that she’d brought from home. No one could ever accuse Hermione of not enjoying books, but Hermione took that love to new levels.

So Hermione was slightly surprised when Harry sat next to her back in their First Year, and watched her read. Feeling his eyes on her was more than a little distracting and disconcerting, and even if she had the ability to zone out in order to focus, she didn’t particularly want to do that.

Finally, Hermione raised her eyes and lowered the book. “Anything in particular you’re looking after, Harry?”

For the first time since he’d sat, Harry looked away. “I was just wondering why you like reading. It’s just words on a page. Why read when you could be doing?”

Hermione could tell that he meant the question. He wasn’t making fun of her. He honestly wanted to know why she valued books as much as she did. So she treated his question as seriously as he’d meant it. So she closed her book, and put all her focus on him, as she tried to think of how exactly to phrase her answer. “The only class that is offered here that books won’t really help you in is riding a broomstick, and believe me, I tried for that one. But beyond learning school lessons, I read books because I’m able to learn how to do other things. I can read the moral lessons in a story, and apply it to my own life. And then, beyond that, there’s the fact that through reading, I can do things I wouldn’t ordinarily get to do. With Jules Verne, I can travel 20,000 leagues under the sea. With Jane Austin, I can be in the 17th century, despairing because of how Mr. Darcy is behaving.”

Harry nodded, relaxing next to her now that she wasn’t treating him like an idiot for his question. “So what are you reading now, then?”

Hermione’s cheeks colored slightly. “Cinderella. My parents used to read it to me, so when I’m homesick, I read it to feel closer to them.”

Now it was Harry’s turn to blush a little, something that Hermione took a small amount of glee in, but she would never tell him, both about her enjoyment of it, or that he’d done it. “I’ve heard people mention her, but I don’t really know who she is or what she did. What am I missing?”

Hermione had gathered enough details about his pre-Hogwarts life from him that, though she was surprised, she was able to hide it from him.

So instead of responding in outrage that he’d missed what she considered a vital part of childhood, or showing him sympathy (which he would probably see as worse than outrage), she simply re-opened her book, and scooted in a little closer to him, situating herself so he could see the words and pictures, and then began reading aloud.

That Christmas, and every Christmas or birthday following, her gift to him was a fairy tale, though she was smart enough to not give it to him where one of the guys might spot it.

***

Even at Hogwarts, Alice had wanted to be an Auror, all the way back from Second Year. She was an idealist, and Severus had known even then that she’d either be an Auror or a Healer. He tried to convince her to go into Healing, because he didn’t want to see her go through the hardships and the shortened life expectancy that most Aurors could expect. He tried, to no avail.

When Frank and Alice became Aurors, and their names, along with Potter’s and Lily’s, rose on the list of people for the Death Eaters to kill on sight, Severus approached Albus Dumbledore about spying for the Order. Severus bitterly regretted his decision to join the Death Eaters, but once you became one of them, the only way out was death.

Severus was willing to die, but not to die for no reason. He wanted his death to have some kind of meaning, even if his life didn’t.

***

Silence met Dumbledore’s statement.

And then: “I have to kiss her?” Harry’s relief was a palpable thing that filled the room. “Is that all? Have they not figured out by now that I love her? She’s only been my best friend for ages now.”

***

Luna knew that Ron was starting to send some looks her way, though she wasn’t yet sure how she felt about that. She didn’t live very far from the Weasleys, and when she was younger, her father would often leave her with the Weasley family while he went trekking off on one of his quests for a Snorklebeaked Warbler. She’d grown up going fishing with the redheaded kids, learning different things from them. In Ginny, she had a confidant, someone that she could talk to about anything and who wouldn’t make fun of her. Ron taught her with complete and utter seriousness the proper way to de-gnome a garden. From the twins, she learned the best way to make a snowball. Percy had been the one to teach her to climb a tree. Bill and Charlie were enough older than her that she didn’t really deal with them. One by one, the kids had gone off to school, and she’d lost another playmate, until it was just her and Ginny left. Finally, she and Ginny were able to go. But Ron didn’t want to have anything to do with her, and Ginny was too busy mooning over Harry Potter, so Luna resigned herself to not having friends, because she knew full well that she was odd, but she didn’t see the point in changing herself just for other people to like her.

No, she knew a lot of things, but how to react to the fact that Ronald was entertaining the possibilty of fancying her was not one of them. He’d hurt her feelings badly by ignoring her in her first three years at Hogwarts, which could be excused by him being a twelve-year-old boy, and he’d never apologized to her, which couldn’t be excused by his age.

She supposed she’d just have to wait and see what happened.

***

Harry had to practice Quidditch for hours a day, every day, but he also had a lot of free time. During his practice hours, Hermione sat on the bleachers and read or studied. She had her specific spot. Usually, Ron joined her, but more often than not of late, he was elsewhere, and when she asked but didn’t press, he’d just give her a hazy answer. It bothered Hermione that Ron didn’t seem to want her to know what he was up to, but she had no claim on him.

Her concentration was disrupted when she heard cheering. Her eyes jumped to the Quidditch pitch, expecting to see that someone had done a spectacular save, or throw, or anything. Instead, she saw Harry looking at the bleachers, a few rows back from where she sat.

Hermione swivelled to see what everyone was looking at.

When she saw Ron and Luna kissing out in full view of anyone watching, Hermione felt her face go pale, and as soon as she was able to move, she gathered her things and ran off, so that she could make sense of her thoughts.

She was rather surprised when Harry followed her. She wasn’t expecting him to leave Quidditch practice early, and judging by how fast he was there, she was pretty certain that he hadn’t exactly asked permission to skip out of practice.

After that, Harry decided to spend the rest of summer very methodically trying to cheer Hermione up, and succeeded fairly well, in spite of herself.

She and Ron were able to discuss things fairly calmly, and they both recognized that they were not what was best for each other, not in a romantic sense. They were too different in too many important ways, and their biggest similarity lay in their tempers. If they dated, it would only be a matter of time until the fight that would break their relationship and friendship happened.

A lot of Harry’s time was spent wrapped up in Quidditch, and while he was practicing, Hermione was in the bleachers. Always. His free time, however, was spent wholly with Hermione; sometimes in a group, but always with Hermione. Ginny Weasley was the first person to comment on it, though it wasn’t done with the air of jealousy. Hermione tried to wave it off, but Ginny had just shrugged and said that she had her eye on another Leo, and she was more than okay with it if Hermione and Harry dated, not that she had any real claim on Harry.

Great. Ron was happy with Luna Lovegood, because the blonde got him in a way and to a level that Hermione didn’t, never would, and would never be capable of. Ginny, who’d been in looooove with The-Boy-Who-Lived all throughout her memories, had moved on completely, instead of trying to move on. The only girl that Harry had shown any interest in was Cho Chang, and Hermione had no illusions that she could compete with the Asian Seeker.

Hermione had thought she was beyond feeling lonely in a crowd of people. Turned out, she hadn’t left that behind her after all.

***

Dumbledore shook his head, assuming that Harry had come to the conclusion that friendly love would be enough to break the curse on Hermione. “You misunderstand, Harry. It has to be romantic love. I’d imagine that they chose this particular curse because Viktor Krum has officially announced his engagement, and the only other person that a Death Eater could imagine has feelings for her has publically acknowledged that his feelings are directed elsewhere. This is designed to torture you, Harry, that if you could only love her in the necessary way, Miss Granger would be free of the curse. It was a cruel curse to cast, done simply for cruelty.”

***

Albus Dumbledore had helped Severus create a cover story to explain his absence to Voldemort; they said, and got others to back up, that Eileen was ill and it was only a matter of time before she passed away. Voldemort granted his pet Potions Master (the youngest one ever; Severus had earned the title a full year younger than Eileen had been when she earned hers) two weeks to be with his mother and say his goodbyes.

During those two weeks, Albus Dumbledore put Severus through an intense training of Occlumancy and Legilimency, teaching Severus how to create labyrinths in his mind and to wrap the truth in lies and lies in truth, so that if Voldemort tried to “read” Severus’ mind, everything would have a ring of truth.

After Severus could pass Dumbledore’s tests, they moved Eileen to a place that was under the Fidelius Charm, with Alastair Moody as the Secret Keeper, and then held a funeral for her.

Severus found a list of people whom the Dark Lord wanted dead. The fact that he had such a list didn’t surprise Severus. What did surprise him was that his mother’s name was on the list, now crossed out since she was presumed dead. It was an unspoken rule that once someone became a Death Eater, their families were untouchable by anyone with a Dark Mark … but then, the Dark Lord would have scorned the very thought of being bound by rules.

Thus, Severus became a spy and began leading a double life, and it happened none too late. One of the first things he learned was always, always protect his cover. No matter the cost. By blowing it, he might save one or two people. By keeping it, he could potentially save hundreds. Still, when the one or two that he could have saved, died, — or worse, were tortured — Severus had to fight not to dig his nails into his palms until the blood dripped to the ground.

What was one more sin on a battered soul?

***

Luna knew that Harry and Hermione had been sending each other looks for years, much to Harry’s dismay because in his mind, Hermione was his friend, and besides, Ron liked her. The mind and the heart are two separate things, though, and Harry hadn’t yet learned that lesson. Both of them were rather blind to the other’s feelings about them, and while Hermione wished that Harry felt the way about her that she did about him, she was grateful that he didn’t know about those feelings.

But Luna also knew that some day, and hopefully soon, they would recognize how they felt, and see that the other reciprocated those feelings.

Maybe she’d be able to help them along a bit. Normally, she tried to stay out of it, but those two really were stubborn enough that they might not realize it on their own.

***

Harry didn’t even bother answering Dumbledore verbally. He simply leaned over and kissed his best friend.

***

When Severus heard one of Sybill Trelawney’s actual prophecies, he didn’t want to return to Voldemort. Voldemort routinely subjected his Death Eaters to Legilimency, and Severus knew that his Occlumency wouldn’t hold up to it, and that Voldemort would find out about the prophecy. He went back to the Dark Lord under Dumbledore’s orders. He changed as much of the wording as he dared, knowing that he couldn’t change it too much, or the Dark Lord would discover it. Severus had to walk that fine line between truth and lie, and the more important the issue, the harder it was to lie. He had to keep it as close as possible to the original wording, while making enough changes that Voldemort would come to the wrong conclusion.

It didn’t work. It wasn’t enough. Voldemort still put enough pieces together to land on Potter, Lily, and their child as the focus of the prophecy. A few days later, Voldemort was gone, and so was Lily. Bellatrix put the prophecy together herself and came up with a different answer: the Longbottoms.

In the fifteen years since, he’d done everything he could to create the potion that would heal the mind from the effects of a Cruciatus Curse. Something that could restore the mind when that kind of pain had driven it away. He had to create a working potion for it. Guilt had been the driving force in his life for fifteen years, and he would succeed at this. When he was a student, he’d had grand plans, just as every child does. He’d wanted to have a legacy, to leave his mark on the world, to have the students that used to torment him read his name and tell their children that they used to know him. Now, his only goal was to have his life not be a waste, and until he fixed the wrong that he’d caused, he would never not consider his life a waste. And possibly (probably) not even then, because if it weren’t for him, Alice wouldn’t need fixing and Lily wouldn’t be dead, and two boys would not have grown up without a mother.

In one week, just as in Fifth Year, Severus lost two of the three people that mattered most to him, and it was his fault. This time, one was forever lost, and while he hoped and worked as hard as he could towards that hope that he would be able to get the other back, it was a slim hope that he doubted more than he believed.

***

Hermione had been in awe of the boy named Harry Potter ever since she read about him before starting at Hogwarts. She’d never really fit in with the other kids; she preferred to read instead of play tag or house or dollies. As a result, she’d sought solace in her books. Through them, she was able to go on adventures. Books gave her all kinds of knowledge. How to interact with children her age was not one of them.

The first time she read about Harry Potter, she cried. He’d been able to defeat the terror of this new world she was reading about, and he’d done it as a baby. People were still praising him for it, and he wouldn’t even remember doing it. The boy had grown up without parents. She hoped that he’d been adopted by a family that would love him; if he went to any family in the wizarding world, she couldn’t imagine that not happening. But he’d never be able to remember his real mom holding him, or his real dad encouraging him as he learned to walk.

The second time she read about Harry Potter, she decided that she was going to meet this boy, because surely, he’d be nice. And if he were nice, then maybe he might be able to see past her faults, and be able to be friends with her. If he were nice, and wasn’t able to befriend her, then there was just something wrong with her, and she’d never have friends.

The first time she met Harry Potter, one of her heroes, on the train to her new school, new world, new life, she did the thing she always did: she turned into an insufferable know-it-all, and completely turned the people around her off to any good qualities she might show them. Every time she tried to show them another side to herself, it came out wrong, and she knew she wasn’t doing it right.

That was that, then. She was the one who was unable to have friends. It wasn’t the fault of the people around her. It was her own. She resigned herself to a lonely year. But if she couldn’t have friends, she could at least make the other students respect her. If they wouldn’t be nice, they would at least recognize that she had brains coming out of her ears. (Well, not literally, something like that would kill you.)

The second time that she really interacted with Harry Potter, she couldn’t believe that she was being completely disregarded when she was right. They were risking all of the House Points — House Points that she had helped accumulate, she might add! — all for some silly pride? She tried to stop them, and wound up going with them because of that stupid portrait. Really, if you’re going to leave a portrait in charge of letting people back into their own dorms, you should make sure the portrait can’t leave their frame. Then came the whole ordeal with the three-headed dog, and she didn’t really want to talk with them afterwards.

The third time that she wasn’t just dealing with Harry and Ron in class, but was actually interacting with them, was a roller coaster of emotions. First, she was crying because of what she’d overheard Ron saying to Harry about her. Then she was terrified, because she’d been locked in the lavatory with a TROLL. Then they were all running, and she was amazed that even though they didn’t really like her, they’d still come after her. Then she found herself sacrificing her own good name among the professors, and oh, how it killed her to do it, and then the three of them were friends.

Friends! Her! She, Hermione Jane Granger, actually had friends!

Looking back on it, that was the night that she first started to fall in love with Harry Potter.

And now he’d kissed her. He’d kissed her, and she wanted to kiss him some more. But she couldn’t, because he was just trying to save her. He had no clue what it meant to her. He had no clue how much it hurt her for him to kiss her and not mean it.

Never fall in love with your hero. They won’t feel the same way, and when they try to rescue you, they’ll just break your heart.

***

Hermione gasped for breath, her skin and clothes and hair returning to normal. She blinked up at Harry. “What just happened?” Her voice was clear and her words were precise.

Harry grinned widely, touching her cheek softly. “I just rescued you, Cinderella. Now believe your Prince Charming when I say that I love you and I’m in love with you, and you can’t tell me that it’s just my ‘saving-people thing’ coming out to play because a spell just told us otherwise.”

***

On July 29th, Severus had verified that the potion he’d completed would work as intended to the best of his abilities. Severus informed Albus, who owled Augusta Longbottom immediately with a note explaining the situation. She responded, giving them permission to ask Neville if he’d be willing to donate the necessary amount of blood, since Neville had the highest chance to be a magical match for both his parents.

Severus sat down on July 30th with Neville Longbottom to explain the potion, what he hoped it would do, how long he’d been working on it, and what he’d need from the boy — the young man.

Severus cultivated the fear from the students with a steady hand. Every public action was done specifically to make the students fear him more. But it was impossible for the Longbottom boy to fear him more than he already did, and this wasn’t the time to instigate fear. As such, Severus opted to brave the Gryffindor Common Room to ensure that he elicited as little fear as possible. McGonnagal, for her part, did her best to clear out the Common Room ahead of time, and keep it cleared so that he and the Longbottom b– the Longbottom young man could speak privately.

To his surprise, the round-faced young man caught on fairly quickly, and volunteered to do whatever was necessary. Severus assured him that it wouldn’t be too drastic, but they would need to go to Saint Mungo’s to draw the amount of blood needed, and that unfortunately, Neville couldn’t take a blood replenishing potion until all the blood needed had been drawn. By the same token, the blood couldn’t be older than a few days, so the blood drawing would have to take place in a relatively short time.

Severus was impressed with the bo– young man in spite of himself, when Neville asked if they could go right then and get started. Severus talked him out of it, taking care to not be his usual sarcastic self. “Don’t be silly. You have a birthday celebration. People are coming here for you. I suppose we could get started, but what about your friends that are coming? Would they not miss you?”

Neville responded with a simple shrug and a frankness that surprised Severus. “Not really. They’re coming here mostly for Harry. They might notice if I weren’t here, maybe, but I doubt anyone would actually miss me.”

Severus inwardly sighed, unable to believe that he was going to say what he was gearing up to say. “There’s a certain redheaded girl that would be disappointed if you weren’t here.”

Longbottom’s eyes widened. “Ginny? She’s just a friend. I mean, she’s always been nice to me, and she said yes when I asked her to the Yule Ball back in Fourth Year, but that’s only because she wanted to go and was only a Thirdie. Besides, she’s going with Dean Thomas now.”

Unspoken were the words So why would she want to go out with me?, but Severus still heard them. He made a concerted effort to not roll his eyes, and actually succeeded at that. “Tell me, Mr. Longbottom, how long do teenage relationships normally last? And how long have she and Mr. Thomas been together? She has already broken it off with him, if Mr. Weasley is to be believed. Also, something to keep in mind about females: if they don’t wish to go somewhere with you, they won’t accept your invitation. Draw from that what you will.”

Neville studied his professor for a long moment while Severus remained still, allowing him to do so, before finally speaking quietly. “Why are you doing this for my family? You said you’d been working on this potion for fifteen years. Why? Why do you care so much?”

Severus blinked. Potter and Longbottom were flip sides of the same coin. The younger Potter looked like his father with only a few differences, but he looked at the world with his mother’s eyes. Neville was the opposite, looking like a carbon copy of his mother, but he had his father’s intensely earnest gray stare. Severus wouldn’t cheapen his friendship with Alice and Frank by lying about it to their son. “Your parents were my friends. Your mother was a far better friend than I deserved, and the blame for her condition can be traced back to me. She, and you, shouldn’t have to suffer for my failings.”

A week later, Ginny Weasley had strongarmed her way into being allowed to go to Saint Mungo’s with them, and the redhead stood with her hand on Neville’s shoulder as they waited to see what happened. Neville kissed his mother’s cheek as the potion began to be administered.

Alice looked at Severus, awareness and gratitude in her eyes, and then history repeated itself when her gaze once again slipped past him to a Longbottom, affection and love flooding her face.

But this time, Severus was okay with it. Everything had come full circle. Things were as they should be.

END