Thawing Out
Dec. 11th, 2008 12:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sroniMore Maria story. Set right after “Yesterday’s Echo”
Thawing Out
OhGodohGodohGodohGodohGod—
Blackness.
***
Cold.
So cold.
Why was she cold?
Iciness was pervasive; it had seeped into her bones.
Couldn’t get warm.
Cold.
So cold.
Someone pressed a mug of tea into her hands.
Warm.
Comforting.
Who? Oh. Her mom.
It was the fourth one.
Maria automatically raised the cup to her lips.
People were talking; she could hear the voices, but couldn’t make out words. It was as if she were listening underwater. Can’t concentrate.
She burned her tongue. Oh. That’s what they’d been trying to tell her.
Tea sloshed over the edge of the cup into her lap. She was shaking. Why couldn’t she stop shaking?
Bad. The world was bad. Bad. Why was the world bad? Why did people kill each other? She didn’t understand.
She didn’t understand.
Her cheeks were wet. Was she crying? She was.
Why? Why did this have to happen?
Her teeth were chattering, hard.
Cold. So cold.
Everything was bad.
Her. She was bad, too. She’d noticed, but hadn’t believed that it could be a threat.
Stupid.
She’d paid for that mistake.
So had Quinn.
Quinn.
Oh, God! Why Quinn? Why him? The world needed more men like Quinn, why did it insist of getting rid of one of the few good guys? Why Quinn?
The dam behind her eyes broke and all of a sudden, she was crying, in deep, racking sobs that tore at her throat and shook her small frame.
Someone was hugging her. Another person was stroking her hair. Oh, parents. Right. Daddy was hugging her and Mother was hovering.
Her fault. Herfaultherfaultherfaultherfaultherfault—
Blackness.
***
She emerged from the blackness with her brain feeling like cotton.
Someone had snuck a sleeping pill or something.
She ran her tongue over her teeth.
Nope. Someone spiked her drink with whiskey. She’d been too pulled-in emotionally, too frozen, to notice.
Mother. She’d snuck some in the tea.
She wasn’t frozen anymore.
She was glad. Being frozen meant she couldn’t feel things she needed to get through.
She didn’t want to thaw out. Thawing out meant she’d have to deal with the pain.
Thawing out hurt.
End
Thawing Out
OhGodohGodohGodohGodohGod—
Blackness.
***
Cold.
So cold.
Why was she cold?
Iciness was pervasive; it had seeped into her bones.
Couldn’t get warm.
Cold.
So cold.
Someone pressed a mug of tea into her hands.
Warm.
Comforting.
Who? Oh. Her mom.
It was the fourth one.
Maria automatically raised the cup to her lips.
People were talking; she could hear the voices, but couldn’t make out words. It was as if she were listening underwater. Can’t concentrate.
She burned her tongue. Oh. That’s what they’d been trying to tell her.
Tea sloshed over the edge of the cup into her lap. She was shaking. Why couldn’t she stop shaking?
Bad. The world was bad. Bad. Why was the world bad? Why did people kill each other? She didn’t understand.
She didn’t understand.
Her cheeks were wet. Was she crying? She was.
Why? Why did this have to happen?
Her teeth were chattering, hard.
Cold. So cold.
Everything was bad.
Her. She was bad, too. She’d noticed, but hadn’t believed that it could be a threat.
Stupid.
She’d paid for that mistake.
So had Quinn.
Quinn.
Oh, God! Why Quinn? Why him? The world needed more men like Quinn, why did it insist of getting rid of one of the few good guys? Why Quinn?
The dam behind her eyes broke and all of a sudden, she was crying, in deep, racking sobs that tore at her throat and shook her small frame.
Someone was hugging her. Another person was stroking her hair. Oh, parents. Right. Daddy was hugging her and Mother was hovering.
Her fault. Herfaultherfaultherfaultherfaultherfault—
Blackness.
***
She emerged from the blackness with her brain feeling like cotton.
Someone had snuck a sleeping pill or something.
She ran her tongue over her teeth.
Nope. Someone spiked her drink with whiskey. She’d been too pulled-in emotionally, too frozen, to notice.
Mother. She’d snuck some in the tea.
She wasn’t frozen anymore.
She was glad. Being frozen meant she couldn’t feel things she needed to get through.
She didn’t want to thaw out. Thawing out meant she’d have to deal with the pain.
Thawing out hurt.
End
