Updates, lessons and interesting performances

For those of you who have read aadler’s LJ about the holidays, yay for my parents, and no, I am not telling about how my brother, my friend and I celebrated my parents’ remarriage. Suffice it to say that a cross-country trip with your father when you have the one and only hangover of your life, is not fun. I am never drinking alcohol again.

I yelled at Evan a few nights ago. I texted him about the performances that you will read about in a moment, and he responded less than nicely, and I called a mutual friend and wound up telling what happened. Next thing I know, Evan is calling me, and I spent two hours alternating between yelling and crying. End results: I say we’re not friends anymore, even though I want to be. He says we never stopped being friends. I say that the definition of the word ‘friend’ is not someone you ignore for months on end. I yelled, he yelled back. And he yelled back something really interesting. This is our yelling conversation. Evan: “You think it’s so easy for me? You think I don’t still have feelings for you?” Roni: “Well, you sure as hell haven’t been showing them! Evan: “That’s part of the reason I wasn’t talking to you! I still have feelings for you and I know you still have feelings for me, and I didn’t want to make another mistake!” Roni: “I DON’T still have feelings for you!” Evan: “Yes, you do!” Roni: “NO, I DON’T.” Evan: “YES, you DO!” Roni: “I’m in a relationship, and I’m happy! For whatever reason, even after all the crap you’ve put me through, I still want to be your friend. But that’s all I want to be right now!”

Of course, as far as he’s concerned, he doesn’t want to have feelings for me, so he doesn’t have feelings for me.

That’s part of the issue. We were making headway on Friday night about the fact that we’re not friends anymore, but then we had to get off the phone and go to sleep. He asked me to call him back on Saturday night, so I did, and during that time, he backslid, and now he won’t admit that we have any issues to get through, that we’re friends, and that means that we don’t have any issues and that we’re still friends, and we’ve always been friends.

I had the most interesting performances of my entire Covenant Player career on Friday. And I’ve had quite a few interesting ones. Friday morning, at one performance that wasn’t actually that bad, I broke the prop bag right before the performance started. On Friday afternoon, I gave myself two bloody noses and got spanked.

We performed at a nursing home, and the activities director informed me beforehand that most of the patients there had mental health issues. Unfortunately, I forgot to pass that on to my unit. Oops. So we do the second play, and I accidentally hit my nose, making it bleed. I’m just going to ignore it, until I feel blood drip past my nose. So I do the only thing I can think of: shove my finger up my nose and keep going with the play. We finish the play (with my finger still up my nose), I go backstage, make it stop bleeding by using the prop towel, and go back onstage to do another play (I was backstage for somewhere between five and fifteen seconds) with blood still trickling. I can handle trickling. So we’re doing an exercise (the Western, for those of you CP types out there), and our hero starts putting down real money for the fake card game. This lady (not one of the “actors” that I’ve chosen to help) starts yelling loudly at him, mostly in expletives. I kick my projection way up, hand him his money back, and keep going. Then I have an argument with our hero. “And you say, ha, I win! I have four aces!” And he repeats. I walk over to the villain. “And you say, ha, I win! I have five aces!” The hero shoves his real money to the villain. “You win. You have five aces.” I intercept, and hand him back his money. “No, you say, “You cheated!” “But she didn’t cheat. She has five aces. Five aces beat four.” “Well, how does she have five if she didn’t cheat?” “She has a joker. Four aces and a joker.” “Well, how does she have four aces and a joker if you have four aces?” All of a sudden, the expression on the hero’s face changes. “You cheated!” So, the rest of the scene is okay.

Scene two. I jog over to the hero (at this point, the yelling lady has decided to sit onstage with us, and keeps a loudly running commentary that consisted mainly with four-letter words, and I don’t mean ‘cake’ or ‘love’) and I tell him what to say. The yelling lady slaps me on the rear and starts cursing at me at a very loud volume. I kick my projection (which was already way up) up even more, dance a few steps away from her, keep going, and manage to stay out of her reach for the rest of the improv. So we do another few plays, and in one (‘Tough Old Lady’), I give myself another nosebleed.

Amazingly enough, the lady rebooked for September.

I learned two very important lessons on Friday. (Not connected with the performances.)

Lesson one: When going into a gas station for directions, look at the signs to make sure that you are going into said gas station, and not the liquor store right next to the gas station.

Oops.

Lesson two: When going into the liquor store that you thought was a gas station, and all you want are directions, do not have the prop gun in your pocket, partially poking out.

Oops.