Back from Cuba, baby.

Yeah, I got back from Cuba on Saturday, but didn't actually get home until Sunday. Me being me, I of course called Evan as soon as I could, and we talked from about... 10:30pm until about... 2am. and since I had to wake up at around 5, that could have been a mistake. But I wouldn't give it up for anything. And I got a lovely surprise when my mom picked me up at the airport, and Evan had hitched a ride with her. So the entire way home, Evan and I sat in the back seat. And if I were in a tell all mood, I might say that he may have kissed me. But I don't kiss and tell. He, my brother and I have been spending as much time together as possible, and I guess all I can say about it is, I love spending time with him, but I am really going to miss him. A lot. And we only have another day together. And that sucks. On the other hand, he's driving me up the wall, because (even though yes, he has kissed me) he keeps leaning in like he's going to kiss me, holding it for about a second, and then pulling away and acting like it didn't happen. But then there's the other stuff he does. He's seen me in multiple major freak out modes, and he calms me down, without me even realizing at the time that he's trying to calm me down. I've said before that I don't feel safe with people. But when I'm with him, I really do. We'll just sit in silence sometimes, and it's a comfortable silence. Or we'll be talking a mile a minute about something, interupting each other all over the place (okay, so I'm the one doing the interupting, not him), and laughing our heads off, and that's totally comfortable, too. Not only do I not even try to be fake around him, but I can't be fake. He'd see through it quicker than a New York minute.

He actually struck me speechless right before I left for Cuba. I was talking to him, and we were tired, and we had the general nonsensical tired conversation that we usually have, and all of a sudden, he says, "You know, I just realized that I'll probably get married while I'm at Norfolk." (He's been stationed there, and it's likely that he'll remain there for like, three years.) "Oh, really. And do you have someone in mind?" "Mmm... I'll keep it a surprise." "Yeah, okay. I guess I'll find out when I get an invitation to the wedding." "Or a ring." Silence. "What?" "Nothing." "No, that wasn't nothing. THat was a comment. A comment that I'd like explained." "Can we just ignore it?" "Yeah, okay, whatever. THis is me, not pushing the issue." Yeah, that's not what took the power of speech away. That's leading up to it. A couple nights before, we'd discussed what we were nervous about, and what we were afraid would happen when we saw each other. My list consisted of, "I'm afraid that when I see you, I'm going to see that I don't measure up to Joy (his ex), and that I never can." ANyway, a few minutes after the topic that followed the Norfok-wedding-ring, he switched the other topic to, "I've thought of something I'm afraid will happen when I see you." "Oh, yeah? And what's that?" Silence. "I'm afraid that when I see you I'm going to fall more in love with you." Lots of silence. "What?" "You heard me." More silence. And then some more silence. "I don't know what to say." "Yeah, I'm not surprised." "No, I mean I really don't know what to say. At the moment, all my brain is coming up with is, 'ghuh?'."

Oh, man, I'm going to miss him.