More Seventy Questions

[sroni]

 
Another 70-Questions:

1. DO YOU SNORE?


I would never. It’s impolite.


2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?


Kitten wants to play.

3. WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?


I’m not good at being alone.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?


I don’t understand.

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV?


We don’t have TV. It makes people crazy.

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?


I don’t use straws. It would be horribly rude to poke a straw into a person’s neck, wouldn’t you agree?

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?


I’ve always been cute. Miss Edith says so.

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?


I don’t know.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?


Keyboard?
Silly question. All pianos have black and white keys.

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?


The water sings lovely songs.

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?


The cord breaks and the cradle falls.

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?


I could pretend.

13. WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?


Spain.

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?


Whoever he is, I’m sure he tastes good.

15. CAN YOU SWIM?


The spiders help.

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE “DONNIE DARKO”?


Movie?

17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?


The stars say all sorts of things.

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?


Really little licks.

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?


If it lets me.

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?


The birds flew away.

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?


I have lots of brothers and sisters.

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?


I don’t like pencils. Nasty lead poisoning.

23. WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?


Little deer prancing about.

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?


I was engaged once, but his name hurts me now.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?


It’s full of swirls and curls.

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?


My hair hurts.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU”?


Spike loves me.

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?


Who?

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?


Blood spatters nicely.

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?


I don’t eat.

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?


Nice puppy.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?


I don’t wear socks.

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?


The sun is screaming in my ears.

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?


Nick was very good.

35. IS McDONALD’S DISGUSTING?


The farm?

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?


Spike and I drove into Sunnydale.

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?


Moonlight showers down.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?


He only visits good girls and boys.

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?


Necks should be protected.

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?


Bats run and hide.

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?


Naughty girls.

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?


Peanut butter?

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?


Necks make loud noises.

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?


All the blood …

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?


Teeth don’t have hair.

46. IS DRUG-FREE THE WAY TO BE?


Drugs are nasty.

47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?


All the conversations keep me awake.

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?


So many colors.

49. WHAT’S YOUR GOAL IN LIFE?


To cause pain.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?


Life is more than you know.

51. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?


Angel has a peacock. Spike laughs ever so much when I say that.

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?


Miss Edith tells me I am.

53. HAVE YOU READ “CATCHER IN THE RYE”?


Books fight with me.

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?


The piano has lovely tunes.

55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?


That’s something naughty girls do.

56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?


Snow burns.

57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?


Mosquitoes thrum in my face.

58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?


That’s rude.

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?


Silly question. I’m not crazy.

60. ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND?


Poodles taste good.

61. DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?


Divorce is for sinners.

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?


I wish I could walk on the moon. Float up and away …

63. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?


Voices from the past whisper to me.

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?


Cold is only in my head.

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?


Nancy.

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?


The fumes go to my head.

67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?


Stars shine bright and die tonight.

68. WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?


TV makes you crazy.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?


I’ve always wanted to fly.

70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?


Rubber bands hurt.

The really scary part is, I have this in my notebook, and I lost my piece of paper that had the questions, so all I had was Drusilla and Spike answers. Looking at Drusilla’s answers, I guessed 60 out of 70 questions. I’m afraid now.