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12 Days of Christmas
And then real life kicked me in the teeth.
So now, just in time for Valentine’s Day, I have the story finally finished.
Twelve Days of Christmas
After dating Dick for a few months, Mac thought she was immune to surprises. She discovered how wrong she was when she left her house and discovered a redhead in the avocado tree in her yard, with a sign taped to the tree pronouncing it a ”pear tree”.
Mac approached cautiously. “Um … Who are you, and what are you doing in my parents’ tree?”
The man responded, “Danny Bonaduce, and a blonde surfer guy hired me to do this.”
She didn’t bother trying to figure it out, and just called Dick. He answered, “Mac-aroni! Did you get my Partridge in the pear tree?”
***
Mac wasn’t greeted by any surprises when she left her house. She did, however, find a smallish package on the driver’s seat by sitting on it.
Mac opened it, taking care with the wrapping paper. Her parents had attempted to teach Ryan to not destroy everything, and gift paper had been the object of choice; a benefit was, at this point, Mac had a stash of Christmas paper that she could re-use for her friends’ gifts.
Mac smiled when she saw two Harry Turtledove books. Her boyfriend could make logic jumps that left her baffled, but he did know her taste in books.
***
Mac wondered what the delivery method would be for the third day. She wasn’t going to make Dick stop his fun, nor her own fun. She never knew what he’d do, and it was fun to try to figure it out ahead of time. So far, both things made sense once she had them (though the “Partridge in a pear tree” wasn’t fair, since it only made sense once she knew the game), but they were far from what she’d think of.
Mac sat down for Sociology, and Veronica slid into the chair beside her, holding three stuffed chickens.
Dressed as French maids.
***
Mac didn’t get her fourth gift until lunch time. She was having to devote an area of her room to Dick’s gifts; she’d taken a picture of Danny Bonaduce up in her tree, and it was pinned to her bulletin board above one of her many bookshelves that held her Turtledove books, and her three stuffed hens wearing French maid outfits were sitting on top of the shelf.
Mac was racking her brain, trying to figure out what Dick might use for calling birds. Her best guess so far was toy birds with calling cards.
Instead, Dick gave her walkie-talkies inside stuffed robins.
***
Dick picked Mac up after her class, and stuck a blindfold on her before driving her anywhere. Two new things at once, with the blindfolding and the giving the present to her himself. Mac tried to figure out what he’d give her this time, but really, there were so many possibilities that she had no real way of narrowing it down.
He’d better not give her real rings, though, or they’d have to have another talk about spending money wisely.
He took the blindfold off of her in the gym, and on the floor in front of her were five sparkley hula hoops.
***
Parker was one of those disgustingly cheerful morning people. In Mac’s opinion, those people should either die before noon, or fix breakfast. Luckily, Parker was one of those disgustingly cheerful morning people that picked breakfast up since one couldn’t cook in the dorms.
By the time Mac was up and dressed, Parker was back with food.
And vodka laying on the tray?
Mac knew that that wasn’t Parker’s purchase, and she immediately called Dick. “Why did you give me six bottles of Grey Goose?”
Mac swore she could hear Dick’s grin. “You think I drink too much. So that’s my vodka limit for the year.”
***
Mac left her morning class and ran into Dick.
Literally, ran into him. That’s the danger of having long hair, when it falls into your face because you didn’t give yourself enough time to pull your hair back that morning. Brown hair blew into her face and she collided with her boyfriend.
Dick just grinned at her, that happy-go-lucky grin that she knew hid a lot, and put his hand on the small of her back and steered her to the duck pond on campus that they ate lunch at sometimes.
Somehow, Dick had managed to get swan shaped pedal boats into the water.
***
Not many people knew that Mac collected figurines. Most of hers were from different countries and were some type of cultural thing.
Mac came back to hers and Parker’s dorm room after class, and saw that her figurines were missing.
If Mac were a violent person, she’d say that someone would die. Luckily, she wasn’t one, and her best friend was a PI. Before she resorted to Veronica, though, Mac decided to call Dick. He apparently knew why she was calling. “Mac-attack! Look in the box next to your bed.”
Mac silently opened the box, and found her collection, plus eight Dutch milkmaid figurines.
***
Mac was going to kill Dick. Seriously, she was. Since she was a geek, not a fighter, she was going to have to enlist her more violent friends to help her. Maybe Logan, even if Dick was his best friend.
She dialed Dick’s number, and started speaking as soon as he answered the phone. “Remember that talk we had about superfluous spending?”
“I paid attention, and I’ve been good with my spending, Mac-aroon.” Dick’s voice protested in her ear.
“In what universeis buying me a Degas painting not extraneous?”
“When I buy a lithograph instead?”
Mac looked again at the nine ballet dancers. “Lithograph is acceptable.”
***
Okay, this one? Was going to need an explanation. She’d been able to figure out most of them on her own, but this one, like the Partridge in the “pear” tree, or the vodka, was going to need to be laid out for her.
Her cell phone had been getting more of a workout since Dick started his 12 days of Christmas than in the whole six months before.
“I like the gift. But how does 10 seasons of Doctor Who relate to ten lords leaping?”
“He’s a Time Lord.”
Mac blinked. “And?”
Mac pictured him shrugging. “And he does a lot of jumping around sometimes?”
***
Logan picked Mac up, under the pretext of going to a specific beach that would be easier for him to drive her to rather than give her directions. Mac didn’t point out that she’d grown up in Neptune, and had been going on camping trips with her “adoptive” parents her whole life, so she probably knew the area better than he did.
She was pretty sure it was a way for Dick to give her his eleventh day present. So far, Logan hadn’t been used.
Mac climbed into the car, and started laughing. In the backseat were eleven stuffed monkeys with toy drums.
***
Mac woke up to something tapping against her window. Seeing as she was on the second floor, she was pretty sure something shouldn’t be tapping against that window, except maybe a confused woodpecker. Grumbling to herself about hating mornings with the fiery burning hatred of a thousand burning suns, she shuffled her way to the window, opening it with only a little difficulty.
Dick put down the pebbles he’d been tossing at her window and grinned widely. He gestured to his eleven frat brothers behind him, and then all twelve guys raised their kazoos and started humming “The Twelve Days of Christmas”.
END
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