http://vastid87.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] vastid87.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] sroni 2007-01-12 06:31 am (UTC)

nice

I enjoyed this, it was somewhat entertaining. There are a few thing that I feel I should point out though. The first is about our hometown. "A few murders is most likely an understatement. Put some thought into it. There are how many colleges in our hometown? I have no trouble believing that there are a lot of rapes and murders that go on that never hit the news because they would cause a problematic sitution with how many students apply to these schools.

The second would be about the manna thing. Are you sure that it means "From God"? Because the translation that I read said that the Hebrew word manna literally means "what is it".

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