sroni: (Singing Gal)
sroni ([personal profile] sroni) wrote2014-01-22 07:54 am

Posting from phone

Posting from the phone because I don't want to get out the computer and set it up.

I'm on crutches because I essentially heel-hook myself on a regular basis and Saturday night, one of the ligaments decided to partially tear. Have I been to a doctor? Nope. Why not? No insurance and I'm poor, and this has happened before, multiple times, so I already know what they'll say and what the treatment is. Basically, since it's not completely torn, ice it and wrap it and stay the hell off of it, do stretches I already know, and don't walk until it doesn't hurt. This is a thing that happens to me, I don't even know how many times.

I keep going through periods of bad insomnia. Two weeks ago, in six days, I got a grand total of nine hours of sleep. This week, I'm doing a little bit better than that, but I'm still not getting anywhere near enough sleep.

It looks like the Irish wedding won't be happening, so we'll be getting married here in July. My mom keeps calling me about ideas she's had for "the wedding". UNFORTUNATELY , "the wedding" isn't mine, but my brother's. I've struggled for years with feelings of inadequacy, especially compared to my little brother, who I affectionately (and sometimes not so affectionately) refer to as "the golden child". I UNDERSTAND that his wedding is a bigger deal than mine is, for multiple reasons (part of which is the size itself; mine will likely have twenty people). But it would be really freaking nice for mine to even blip on her radar.

It's entirely possible depression is rearing its ugly head and making things worse than they are.

I'm going back to sleep now.